


Is 9 am to early for murder?

by ToothyVoid (Mysticgator)



Series: NEON is code for wild [1]
Category: gta5, los santos - Fandom
Genre: F/F, F/M, Gang Violence, Multi, Other, i took canon and put my fingers in it., selfinsert
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-07-13
Updated: 2018-07-19
Packaged: 2019-06-09 14:21:56
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,110
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15269352
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Mysticgator/pseuds/ToothyVoid
Summary: A glimpse into the lives of Los Santos most notoriously obnoxious gang NEON.





	1. Americano and American crime

The blinds let in so little light who could know if it was dusk or dawn but in this dim kitchen a third of a mug of americano lukewarm and settled on her left, a large well scribbled on map on her right. She pours her energy into making this perfect. 

 

It was for the next heist, there was a small problem in the county. A organization posing as a safe and healthy place for children has been exploiting them for labor. Dropping them on corners of well to do streets and having them rob the people blind.

 

Red swirled her mug, that's not a job for children.

 

That's our job. Robbing the rich.

 

This is going to be their first, maybe only human heist, they had to get rid of all the files on those kids and load them up and…,

The penthouse elevator dinged.

 

“All I can say is that Huny definitely has big dick energy,” A smile creased her composed face, keys jingled at the door, to jingles before unlocking. Red waltzy around the island a large roll of tarp in her arms she puts it at her feet and kicks it open; two jingles meant blood and they had beautiful white floors, do you know how annoying it is to clean streaks of blood before it sticks. 

 

“Huny can not have big dick energy, fuck” Egg’s arms were wrapped around the legs of an unconscious man and with a small grunt they lift him higher  “heavy, especially with that jolly face at most its concentrated power bottom energy” they concluded hefting him like a sling of rocks. 

 

   Bee on the other end was supporting his head and holding his zip tied arms. They get just inside the threshold dropping the body with a heavy thud.

A dead weight kind of thud. 

 

Bee turned daintily hanging her keys on their cork announcement board. 

 

“Why is their a dying man in my kitchen” 

Red raised her cooled coffee to her lips before frowning at its lukewarm temperature and placing it back on the island.

 

“Our kitchen Red, “ Egg corrected her moving til they were standing over the man's chest leaning down and giving him a few slaps for good measure.

“Buddy,” Their hand connects at half strength “Hey, hey buddy you had something you needed to tell us right?  from a certain other crew right?” 

 

Flat on the ground, cheek blooming in pink from Eggs well placed smacks his eyes open with a jolt hands going straight for the offending, stinging area. He tries to get to his feet but can’t get pass Eggs boot in the center of his chest. 

 

Bee was in the kitchen, hands still tinted with his blood, she was trying to wash her hands in the stainless steel sink. She knew Huny dropped off cinnamon buns it's the first friday of the month, cinnamon bun day.

 

Egg was putting pressure on him. Lowering their boot repeatedly stepping on his sternum.

 

“Alright,” he wheezed out when a sharp crack hit his ears that was one of his own bones he knew it.

“Let the man speak Eggy,” red hung an arm over their shoulder taking another sip of roomtempsreso.

 

His tormentor grumbled,the mask covering their expression which could be best described as the face pulled when your mother says “We have food at home”. 

 

He coughed finally able to sit up, there's absolutely a broken rib or two.

“Those steel toed?”

He could hear the grin, 

“actually gold” 

Their foot raised dangerously close to his face,

He swallowed audibly, 

 

“So first where are you from, moreover who sent you and for what” red inquired and at that very moment he felt what he was sure was panic, sure the crew...NEON was scary and strong but, nobody even sees this side of the elusive leader, in pajamas and slippers, vulnerable he could finish the job here and now one member was torso deep in the fridge the other didn't even reach his chin and only got the drop on him because they had backup. 

 

    He braces his hands and throws his weight at the smaller of the two. Egg falls to the side, Red sighs smashing her mug against the wall and embedding the jagged handle into his shoulder between the bones. Crying out he fell to the ground she steps on it crushing the porcelain beneath her fox slipper. On the back of his neck right below his ear a tattoo, a iceburg. Red kicks him over.

 

“You’re Glacier muscle huh?”

 

“You took our territory,” he grunts out, a last ditch effort to leave the room wounded but alive.

 

“Ugh, territorial disputes, we aren't dogs this isn't a pissing contest, if you are the type of leader to send your crew into suicide for something you can send in a email, that's a guy who isn't worth my time.” 

 

From the waist of her pajama pants she pulled her small pistol and popped him twice.

 

He fell off the tarp,

 

“Aw god dammit! “ Red grumbled stomping her foot and almost slipping in his quickly pooling blood, thank god he was dead or he would see the strong leader of the NEON fakes flailing her arms and catching herself on the island.

 

“My flooooor,” she groaned, Bee saddling up to her mouth full of cinnamon and bun. 

 

“Its okay, lemon and seltzer and a little bleach”

 

Egg was still on their back, 

“I could have shot him”

“I know dear,”

“I wanted to shoot him” the barest hint of a whine.

“We still have to get rid of the body” Bee tried to diffuse both her upset friends coworkers and partners.

 

They smiled, both of them. 

 

Bee was a capybara of a person

 

Red kicked her slippers onto the tarp and grabbed the treat from Bee's hand taking a bite. Egg finally managed to sit up and get up. 

 

They nudge the corpse in the kitchen, just a gentle toeing with their boot.

  
  
  



	2. we need to talk about body disposal

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Welp a small hiccup and a small chase just day in NEONS adventures

“SO what you are telling me is that you remembered two arms, a torso, a head...but you forgot his left leg!?” Red had a hand on her head the other counting and recounting the neatly plastic wrapped body parts.

 

“To be fair I also have the feet and hands in my lunch bag so it's just a huge hunk of meat at this point,” 

 

Bee sat in the driver's seat of her pick up truck the only car allowed to get this kind of dirty on such short notice. The three of them were so meticulous, so organized. They didn’t even think twice to check and count that all 10 pieces of frozen man puzzle was in the box before heading out to their playdate in the middle of blaine county the world's biggest sand box. 

Egg had a cooler lunch bag hanging off their shoulder, their mask was off for maximum inconspicuous energy. 

 

“Uh oh…”  Bee just had a thought a funny ai biet absolutely terrifying true thought, 

“Guys...did we leave it in Huny’s fridge” 

Red was already re packing the truck, “we Just gift wrapped Huny a slab of human meat, what are we idiots?, “ 

 

“It's the valentino white bag all over again,” Bee sinks in her seat.

Egg looks at the hands on their waist shifting the bag slightly.

In less than 5 minutes they are hauling ass back to the penthouse, 

Red (exasperated) makes a call,

 

Huny had it unwrapped on his counter, it was so pink it could be mistaken for pig if you weren't knowledgeable he was so excited. Ear plugs in he sharpened his knife rhythmically, 

‘Maybe I could make a bread from the bones as a thank you, or maybe’

 

Huny looked up the door slamming causing the vibration that reached his feet and drew him out of his thoughts. 

 

“Bruise!” He popped out his right ear plug, testing his newly honed blade on a tomato with a thunk against his wooden cutting board.

 

Bruise was out of breath, pointed at the leg “That's not for you!” 

 

He knew it was too good to be true, haphazardly wrapping it back up he takes off for the stairs to the helipad, 

“Fuckin’ “ Bruise tries to catch her breath while chasing him, Soup peaked out of his minimalistic room sleep in his eyes and a yawn on his breath, “what's going-” 

 

“Huny is trying to eat a mans leg” 

Soup looks up the stairs, looks back at Bruise, and up the stairs again. The door clicks back into place.

“SOUP!” Bruise chases Huny up the stairs two at a time, Huny was stopped two thirds up taking a deep breath, “its just a leg I’m curious!” he yells down at her

 

“You can't eat people Huny !” 

 

“Yes you can you just have to treat it like pork!” 

 

Huny started his ascent again, kicking open the door to the helipad and running for the nearest one person aircraft, The door swings open bruise flair gun in hand shoots at Hunt's legs causing him to stumble, the leg falling from its wrapping, a wet meaty thunk on the tarmac.

 

Huny dropped to his knees, “nooooo” 

 

“Got it,” Bruise pants into her cell phone, 

 

“Oh thank god,” Red was glad she called Bruise the most capable and youngest of the crew could handle one over excited would be cannibal. 

 

Bruise walks over patting Hunys shoulder sympathetically, “It's not all bad, hey how about we go get something expensive at the meat market, something really pricey on reds dime?” 

 

Huny was crestfallen picking the sullied leg up and wrapping it slowly, “I guess…” 

 

Thirty miles into blaine county and quickly approaching on the highway Red, Egg and Bee relax just a bit, sure they wouldn't be able to deep dump the body today but they can get him into the aqueducts and float him off by nightfall at least.

As they veered off the interstate and into the north side of the city, Egg stared out the window. It wasn’t hot this time of year atleast, and this could have been much worse than just a small tom and jerryesqu chase, so all in all an uneventful day. 

Through the streets of los santos Egg catches something in the corner of their eye as they wait for a light off the olympic freeway, they drop their cooler into the seat and hopped out, 

 

“Be home in a little I need to grab something,”

 

Bee cocked her head to the side but nodded and red waved “Don’t stay out too late we still have to plan for friday!” 

 

“Gotcha boss”

 

When they round the corner and pull to a stop in front of the penthouse Red calls up for someone to bring the piece down for transport. The glass doors of the building swing open Bruise and Kuro chatting with a large duffle bag over their shoulder. 

 

“What yall chit chatting about? “Red teased leaning out the car to ruffle bruises hair and kiss kuros cheek.

 

“Just wondering why you would cut the body into so many pieces, “ Kuro slid the duffle bag into the truck, Red laughed. 

 

“That was all Egg, They said the pieces can get taken away by animals easier.” 

 

“Okay but why like fifthteen.” bruise inquired tapping away on her phone, 

 

“Fifthteen no we only did ten hands, feet, legs,arms, torso and head” Bee counted on her fingers

 

Kuro raised an eyebrow

“You sure it wasn't: feet,calves,thighs,torso,hands,forearms, biceps and head” they asked sliding in on Reds left Bruise on her right. 

Red blinks then calmly opened the duffle bag, in it was just the calve, and wrapped tight to its side a note.

 

Sorry~ :P

 

“HE TOOK THE THIGH!” Red screamed her hands thrown up hit the roof to which she recoiled at the dull pain.

 

Egg puttered up on a battered motor scooter a shopping bag on their arm 

 

“Just in fucking time Egglet, We are going on a Huny Hunt!”  Bee shouted out the driver side window. Egg chuckled,

“Just a sec let me put this up” 

“Hurry the longer it takes the more time he's marinating!” Red was calling huny, and Bruise well Bruise was on her side laughing. 

 

Egg waits in the elevator unwrapping the paper around their purchase, smiling to themselves at the ding, opening the front door, quickly placing it on the kitchen island, A mug one of those extra large ones,red and white emblazoned with : For big jobs.

 

It was perfect for Red, they knew it.

Hoping into the van and slapping on their seatbelt.    
“Alright let's get him.” 

  
  
  
  



End file.
